Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Longest ... Post ... Ever

You know how when you think, "It can't get any worse?" it does? Well ... it did. Anyone want to share some advice?

I think I'm doing the right thing ... but maybe I've lost all perspective in this situation. I'm frustrated and angry and sad and depressed ... did I mention frustrated? I've lived my entire life under the belief that there's an answer to everything ... but I'm now completely out of answers.

My father passed away last year in June. So, sadly, we're coming up on the one year "anniversary" of this sad date. I honestly believe in my heart that I've done my very best over the last eleven months to take care of Mom. We talk almost every single day ... and sometimes two or three times a day.

We go to lunch two or three times a week ... and usually go out to dinner once a week. Once a month or so I go to church with her on Saturday and then go up to the riverboat with her. I drop by her apartment at least once a week ... to bring her a movie or the last Sopranos episode ... whatever.

I guess I'm trying to show that I haven't deserted her. On the contrary, I see her ten times more now than I did before Dad got sick.

My brother (who lives three states away) is coming up to visit for Mother's Day. He asked me to keep Saturday afternoon/evening open so we could go to mass and have dinner together. Cool. Done.

Meanwhile, (my ex-husband)'s mom said that she and her boyfriend would like to drop by on Sunday afternoon to show us their new puppy. We said sure ... because while she's over, we're going to transfer some songs to her MP3 player.

This isn't a formal Mother's Day luncheon ... or dinner ... or party. This is just us meeting her puppy and working on her gadget. She probably won't be there longer than an hour.

Mom called last night. I told her that I needed to call Brother ThirtyWhat to find out what he had planned for Mother's Day. I explained that my plan was to go to breakfast with them or whatever ... spend the morning with them ... then head back to my house about 12:30 to meet up with (my ex-husband) and his mom.

She's furious. Livid. Beside herself. She's demanding that I invite her since I invited his mom. I explained I didn't invite anyone anywhere. This isn't supposed to be a thing. She said, "There are two mothers in this situation and if one is invited they should both be invited."

I was upset. That's an understatement. Tragically, I placed all my hope and trust in Brother ThirtyWhat. I believed wholeheartedly that he would happily offer to take her somewhere on Sunday to keep her busy ... after all, his only contribution to this situation is that he calls once a week and visits every four or five months.

His answer? It's Mother's Day ... invite her.

Now I am beside myself. I don't think I'm being unfair. I'm spending Saturday afternoon/evening with her ... then I'm offering to go over there on Sunday morning and stay until about noon. She doesn't even like dogs ... and she isn't buddies with (my ex-husband)'s mom, either.

I think (my ex-husband)'s mom deserves to spend a little time with us by herself ... especially considering she hasn't been over since Christmas. I am sick to death of trying to make everyone happy. Because no one is happy ... and I am getting physically ill over this.

I don't know what to do ... or what to say ... or who to say it to.

What about me? It isn't fair
I've had enough, now I want my share
Can't you see, I wanna live
But you just take more than you give

Moving Pictures - What About Me