Tales Of The Pool Thief ...

Remember the stupid jokes and stories you used to tell as a kid? All those things that don't make a whole lot of sense now ... but at the time were just hilarious?

Let's go back in time to July, 1983. It was hot ... insanely hot. Kinda like today. I was just a tweener. And although I had a way-cool stereo with a cassette deck, a cherry-red Schwinn ten speed, and Springfield's largest collection of Rick Springfield memorabilia ... I did not have a pool.

My parents had been pretty agreeable when it came to requests for a phone in my room ... and a 13 inch black and white tv ... however, they were not nearly as agreeable to the idea of a pool. Looking back, I had nothing to complain about ... I went to hundreds of movies and spent hour upon hour at the mall. But one of my friends down the street had a pool ... so I desperately wanted one.

So one evening, I was on the phone with one of my best friends ... he, like myself, was denied the sweet, sweet splash of chlorinated water. I'm not sure who started it first ... but we began a one-upping contest ... each boasting that we used to have the most amazing pool in Springfield ... however, it had been stolen.

I think he claimed to have had an above-ground that was pilfered ... to which I countered with a description of my missing in-ground model with the springy diving board. We rolled in laughter as he described a twisting slide which had disappeared ... and it culminated with an outrageous story from my side involving a glass-walled pool with an underground den attached ... so that you could watch MTV and people swimming at the same time ... all of which was stolen by the dreaded pool thief.

I haven't thought about that phone call in years ... until today. There's a story in the State Journal-Register about the very same subject. Come to find out, there really are pool thieves. Who freaking knew? There's nothing funny about someone stealing from a 9-year old boy ... but, for what it's worth, the article brought back a great memory.

I'm older now ... and completely understand why my parents wouldn't agree to a mold-producing money pit. But man ... in 1983, I envisioned myself as the next Ellie Mae Clampett ... and I would've traded every one of my Rick Springfield posters for a cement pond.

Hey, Mr Grump Gills!
You know what you gotta do when life gets you down?
Just keep swimming
Just keep swimming
Just keep swimming swimming swimming
What do we do we swim, swim, swim
OH HO HO How I love to swim
When you WAAAAAANNTTT to swim you want to swim

Dory - Finding Nemo