Matthew over at Unspelled scooped us all by posting a link to this year's Illinois Times Best of Springfield poll. That is so cool ... because I never know about this thing until it's over. Each year, I walk past the stand at work and see the headline, "Springfield's BEST!" And each year, I pick one up thinking, "DAMN! I missed voting again."
So I clicked on the link to vote ... and quickly realized that I'm the biggest loser in Springfield ... if not the planet Earth. "Best Bartender?" Wow ... I haven't had a drink in years. "Best Italian Restaurant?" Um ... Olive Garden? "Best Hairdresser?" Uh ... who's that chick I go to at Custom Cuts again?
Seriously ... I never realized how tragically un-hip I am until I tried to fill out that survey. For instance, I have no idea who runs the best candy store in town. I tend to pick up my Shocktarts at Walgreens ... but I have been known to grab my sugar fix at Shell now and then. I'm also relatively sure the Illinois Times did not want me answering "Taco Bell" on the Mexican restaurant issue.
So ... for those of us who are not on the cutting edge of haute cuisine ... I'd like to add a few questions of my own:
Gas Station Whose Receipt Printer Is Never Out of Paper
McDonalds With The Friendliest Employees
Video Store With The Most New Releases In Stock
Walmart Cashier Who's Least Likely To Go Postal
It's not like I'm living in a van down by the river or anything ... but seriously. Augie's? I'm sure it's a great place ... but Red Lobster has these amazing cheddar biscuits ...
When they wear their clothes too tight and their hair is dyed
Too much lipstick and too much rouge
Gets me excited, leaves me feeling confused
An' I like my women just a little on the trashy side
Confederate Railroad - Trashy Women