Tuesday, August 29, 2006

The Power Of Christ Compels You ..

According to this new article, Father Gabriele Amorth ... Pope Benedict XVI's chief exorcist ... claims Adolf Hitler and Russian leader Stalin were possessed by the Devil.

"Of course the Devil exists and he can not only possess a single person but also groups and entire populations. I am convinced that the Nazis were all possessed. All you have to do is think about what Hitler and Stalin did. Almost certainly they were possessed by the Devil.

So, if demonic possession is the cause of the world's atrocities ... I, ThirtyWhat, as a non-practicing Catholic, would like to contribute to this discussion by adding a few candidates of my own:

The Walton Family et al

Five of the top ten richest Americans are Sam Walton's kids. Each one of them has over 15 billion dollars. Let that roll off your tongue ... fifteen billion dollars. Why do I consider them demonically possessed?

Think about it ... if each one of them gave one ... just one billion dollars of their fortunes, they could easily afford a reasonable health insurance plan for every one of the people employed by Walmart. And after investing 5 billion in this initiative, they'd still have over 14 billion a piece to play with.

Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. Matthew 19:24.


This means all extremists ... Islamic, Christian, or otherwise. I don't care what you believe in. You can pray to the giant spaghetti monster and be touched by his noodly appendage for all I care ... but when you start thinking you've cornered the market on God ... then I assure you, you're on the wrong track. Perhaps a few shakes of holy water from Father Amorth up there would help adjust your perspective.

... and last but not least
on Exercism's Greatest Hits ...

Every Ex-Boyfriend I Ever Had

I've been married to (my ex-husband) for over ten years now. Before him my freak beacon must've been shining really bright. I swear I dated every asshat in the central states region. And this was before the Internet, people ... I had to work hard to find these losers.

In any case, I'm not saying that, as a group, they're possessed ... but then again I'm not saying they not possessed either. There's one in particular I'm pretty sure about. But in any case, I think Father Amorth ought to give 'em the once over just to be sure.

So, feel free to throw your own suggestions into the hat. Since we're opening up the "The Devil Made Me Do It" door, we might as well invite everybody in.

And I wouldn't trade ol' Leroy
Or my Chevrolet for your Escalade
Or your freak parade
I'm the only John Wayne left in this town

Big and Rich - Save A Horse Ride A Cowboy