Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Falling Off The Wagon ... ThirtyWhat Style ...

While driving home from work today, I had a moment of clarity. It occurred to me that I'm an "emotional eater." More than that ... I would say I actually use food to self medicate ... to the point that I must be looking at my fridge the way most "normal" people look at Walgreens.

The type and amount of "bad" food I eat on any given day is in direct proportion to how shit-tacular that day has been. If I'm driving home thinking about cooking a chicken in my rotisserie ... with some rice and green beans ... then I've had a relatively-stress free day.

If, however, like today ... I'm driving home thinking about how good a Long John Silver's peg leg would taste ... well, you can imagine how totally fucked my day has been.

Today ... is a Long John Silver's day.

Oh no, I haven't actually had any peg legs ... nor do I actually plan on going out and getting any. But the thought gnaws at me like dog with a bone. It's almost subconscious ...

"Hmmm ... I can't forget to call the lawn guy (wouldn't some shrimp sound good) ... and I need to make sure CWLP sends us that replacement bill (oh yes, with some extra crumblies) ... damn, I can't forget to vote (oh you know you want a piece of that fish) ...

It's like Sybil is living in my fucking head ... and all she wants right now is something battered and fried.

I need to invent some sort of 12 step program ... [stands up] "Hi, my name is ThirtyWhat ... and I associate food with comfort." Anyone wanna be my sponsor?

Everybody's got a hungry heart
Everybody's got a hungry heart
Lay down your money and you play your part
Everybody's got a hungry heart

Bruce Springsteen - Hungry Heart


  1. College One9:02 PM

    noooo.... Now I'm craving their chicken and crumblies.... THAT'S ALL I WANT!!!!

    and yet... I'm poor. And Long John Less.

    Ya know what... They need Long John Silvers in the dining center.

    ~College One

  2. Idiot's Anonymous11:15 PM

    College One: Oh hell... We absolutely CANNOT have a Long John Silvers in college.

    I do NOT wanna gain a "Freshman 80," and I am looking forward to that nice check that the school will send me if I don't spend all of my food money.

    ~Idiot's Anonymous