Monday, March 16, 2009

Today, I Am the Bee Girl ...

It's easy to blame others. In fact, it's probably human nature to look to others as the source of our problems. Howevever, I try to be a little more self-aware than that ... I understand that my mood today is entirely me.

I am tired. I am irritable. I have little patience. All of the day's typical little irritations are grinding on me. I feel like I'm worn thin. Is it hormonal? Is it just fatigue? Has my GFR gone south? I have no idea.

I am trying to put on a good face for everyone ... but today is not a good day. I want to go home and crawl under the covers. No ... I want to go home and play a video game and veg. I want to put on headphones and listen to the Cure. And I want it to rain. Really rain. And thunder. Long, rolling thunder like you hear in these god-forsaken nature CDs that are not relaxing me, no matter what their marketing may claim.

I am blessed ... I know that. I also know that it's the journey ... not the destination. I'm just saying that a rest stop would be nice right about now ...

And I don't understand why I sleep all day
And I start to complain that there's no rain
And all I can do is read a book to stay awake
And it rips my life away, but it's a great escape

Blind Melon - No Rain

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