Monday, September 14, 2009

Life Lessons From ThirtyWhat ...

I am maid of honor ... make that matron of honor ... in an upcoming wedding. Therefore, one of my duties was to throw the future bride a bachelorette party ... which happened 48 hours ago on Saturday night. This ... is what I learned from that experience:
  • Clubs are fun, exciting places ... if you are drinking.

  • If you are not drinking, clubs are noisy, annoying, and expensive.

  • The Corner Pub and The Office give free sodas to designated drivers ...

  • Donnie B's Break Time and Funny Bone do not.

  • Comedians are absolutely hilarious if you're drinking.

  • Comedians are amusing at best if you aren't.

  • Alcohol is prohibitively expensive ...

  • Therefore, bring lots of cash.

  • No, more than that.

  • If throwing a bachelorette party, bring along one trusted "safe" man to be a designated driver, bouncer, and bodyguard.

  • Be sure to buy the man who accepts this job a drink ... because if designated drivers don't have fun in general, rest assured that this guy is having even less.

  • 39 3/4 is way too old to being throwing this type of party ...

  • Particularly if the 39 3/4 person has to stay sober.

  • Bring a camera with a LOT of disk space.

  • Photos can and, most likely will, be used as evidence against you in a court of law.

  • Designated drivers are almost never in these photos.

  • Trust me ... that ... is a good thing.
I'm safe
Up high
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain
You're like perfection
But how do I feel this good sober?

Pink - Sober

No comments:

Post a Comment