Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Oddly Enough We Never Owned A Ford ...

What you see below is the post that
I originally wrote for today.

Then I hit a rough patch at work
and wrote an alternate post
that was filled with obscenities and my opinions
rampant misogyny and alcoholism as a hobby.
But you know what?  Fuck that ...
Here's the fun post ... we'll save the alternate
one for another day ...

My iPod ... like yours, I'm sure ... has a lot of different songs to cover a lot of different moods.   If Call Me Maybe is playing, then I'm feeling playful ... if Don't Dream It's Over is on, then I'm probably a little down at that moment ... if Girls Girls Girls is playing ... well, if Girls Girls Girls is playing, you should grab an energy bar ... you're probably going to need it.

I'd like to think everyone's like me ... that we all have certain songs that go with certain situations.   Last summer, every time I left my lawyer's office I'd put on Wide Awake ... which probably explains the visceral reaction I have when I hear that song now.   I have a Garth Brook song I listen to when I'm feeling sentimental ... I have a Night Ranger song I listen to when I'm trying not to feel sentimental.  Fake It gets me by when I'm angry ... and Teenage Dream, for some strange reason, relaxes me.

This morning was really no different than any other morning.  I woke up ... read my e-mail ... checked Facebook ... got dressed ... and chose a song as I walked to the car.   I was in a great mood ... I slept good ... it was the perfect day for hair bands.  After all, nobody listens to Talk Dirty To Me when they're pissed off ...

So I pulled into the parking lot ... stereo blasting ... dancing in my seat ... singing along at the top of my lungs to Cherry Pie ... when it hits me.  I ... am John Redcorn.  Pulling up to a stop sign or a parking lot or anywhere else with Janie Lane blaring out of your speakers is not cool ... Ratt isn't cool ... neither is Poison or Queensryche ... wow.

Talk about self awareness ... kids today aren't listening to Ozzy's No More Tears ... and I assume strippers aren't taking it off to Girls Girls Girls.  Wonder what they are taking it off to these days?  Never mind ... don't answer that.  Doesn't matter.   Bottom line, I'm not down about this new revelation.  Why?  Because I've also been known to drive home late at night after trivia with Bangerang blaring out of my little Toyota.  I can be hip ... most days I just choose not to be ...

At the drive-in
In the old man's Ford
Behind the bushes
Until I'm screamin' for more
Down the basement
Lock the cellar door
And baby
Talk dirty to me

Poison - Talk Dirty To Me