Part two! Or as "sportsy" people would call it ... the second half.
My Aunt's team is not doing well. Me? I've grabbed a bite to eat, watched the Beyonce Jazzercize Half-Time Show, took a shower, and I'm now read to get my blog on ...
Break One
Century 21 - Wedding - B - God ... I really wanna tell you I hate it and the stereotypes of women and ... blah blah blah blah ... whatever ... I laughed.
Blackberry - Things Your Blackberry Can't Do - C - Cute ... I don't know ... white noise ... thousands of tiny rubber duckies were cute.
Blackberry - Things Your Blackberry Can't Do - C - Cute ... I don't know ... white noise ... thousands of tiny rubber duckies were cute.
E-Trade - How To Blow Cash - D - Okay ... I'm one of the few people who actually like E-Trade baby. He's cute ... but Photoshopping him into various pimp scenarios? Fail. Unless you're gonna put him on a boat in a Lonely Island video, don't bother ...
Note: The lights just went out ... the hell?
Break
Subway - Februany - C - Stupid commercial ... but I love love love Februany. Cheap subs for everyone! Let's go get a turkey sub and wait for the lights to come back ...
Bud Lite - Chair Mojo - D - What the fuck is with this? I don't get this ... if you bring Stevie Wonder a six pack of Bud Lite he'll work some voo doo for you? I don't know ... maybe I'm just hungry. Past Super Bowls have taught me that if I'm cranky I may need a Snickers.
Note: The lights are finally back on ... 34 minute delay.
Break
Wow ... so it hits me now ... that in years passed, I only live blogged commercials for the first half of the Super Bowl. Wanna know why? Because they repeat commercials in the second half. I may blow this off and get to sleep at a decent time after all. Yay me!
Break
Axe - Nothing Beats an Astronaut - C - I shouldn't expect anything better ... it's Axe for the love of God. At least no one is making out with a mannequin. Ugh ... I weep for humanity.
Mio - Tracy Morgan - D - Tracy's just become a caricature of himself. In fact, I typed that out as Tracy Joradan ... and didn't catch it the first ten times I edited this.
David Letterman - Use the Laces - Not a product advertisement but holy crap ... what is wrong with Letterman? I haven't watched him in over a year ... but he looks unhealthy! Someone look into this ...
Break
Gildan - Favorite Shirts - F - Wanna know why this commercial fails horribly? Because if you ever wondered ... that dude ... looks like Batman. And now I want to rinse my eyes out with bleach ... thanks, Gildan ...
Pistachios - Ganham Style - B+ - Damn him and that song! I want to hate it ... but I can't!
Break
Beck's Sapphire - No Diggity - A - They get an A for song choice. Yeah, the commercial was alright ... very cool but ... No Diggity? Boo yah!
Break
Budweiser - Landslide - A - Again ... song choice. It was sentimental ... and yeah, Budweiser supposedly tastes like rebottled piss but ... Landslide ... it makes me melt.
Break
Break
Ram - God Made a Farmer - Wow ... okay, I'm not going to grade this commercial out of respect for farmers everywhere ... but this is an incredibly romanticized, unrealistic vision of what farming is today. It's a hard, back-breaking, thankless job ... that's no lie. But Google "corporate farming" and then we'll talk about urban spread, the deterioration of rural communities, and the future of agriculture and the "family farm" in this country. Whoa ... probably read too much into that, huh? Okay ... fine. Cool truck.
Break
Kia - Babylandia - B - Awwww ... I dig the planet of babies. Babies and piglets and puppies ...
Note: I'm stupid tired at this point. If it weren't for the fact that I love my Aunt ... and I want her team to win, I would shut the television off, put on some soft music, and read a book for awhile. Hmmm ... in fact ...
I give up ... there were commercials with Seth Rogan and Paul Rudd and a commercial with Willem Dafoe as the devil selling Mercedes. The Ravens won. Oh, and for some surreal reason, the showgirls got the Coca-Cola. That's a wrap, everyone ... my candle's flickering ... my music's playing ... and I'm ready to read for awhile ...
Break
Kia - Babylandia - B - Awwww ... I dig the planet of babies. Babies and piglets and puppies ...
Note: I'm stupid tired at this point. If it weren't for the fact that I love my Aunt ... and I want her team to win, I would shut the television off, put on some soft music, and read a book for awhile. Hmmm ... in fact ...
I give up ... there were commercials with Seth Rogan and Paul Rudd and a commercial with Willem Dafoe as the devil selling Mercedes. The Ravens won. Oh, and for some surreal reason, the showgirls got the Coca-Cola. That's a wrap, everyone ... my candle's flickering ... my music's playing ... and I'm ready to read for awhile ...
Sorry, Aunt Sue ... I was rooting for your guys!
