Sunday, February 17, 2013

Why ... Just ... Why ...

Well ... welcome to day two of  the  "Yet another horrible decision in a lifetime of horrible decisions" tour ... this one being the choice to give up Cherry Coke for Lent.  What in the hell was I thinking? 
I was having dinner Friday night and the question was asked, "What are you giving up for Lent?" Now I realize as a Catholic this seems inconceivable ... but it hadn't even crossed my mind.  Wasn't even a blip on my radar.  But it was a valid question ... and so that Friday night, laying in bed, I thought about it ...

Whatever you give up ... it's supposed to be a sacrifice.  Something that will be a hardship ... something you'll miss.   Well ... the obvious choice came to mind ... but I sure as hell wasn't giving that up.   Then I thought about cursing ... fuck that.  What did I truly enjoy that I could give up?  I always joke that Cherry Coke is like my own, personal crack ... so what would be better than that?
The gravity of my choice didn't really hit me until last night.  Mom and I went for Chinese after mass ... and I stopped in my tracks when the waitress asked what I wanted to drink.  I said water because ... I literally couldn't think of any flavor other than the one I couldn't have.  As I picked out some food and headed back to the table, I was proud of myself ... water was a good choice ... not only was I giving up something for Lent ... I was going to be healthy.

But you know what?  Water sucks!  It fucking sucks!  And Chinese food tastes like shit without Cherry Coke!  What ... have ... I ... done?!   Why didn't I give up french fries ... or hamburgers ... or pizza?!   Cause right now I can still have french fries or hamburgers or pizza ... but they all taste like crap cause I can't have them with Cherry Coke!?!   I was thinking of seeing if a friend of mine wanted to go see a movie later ... but then it hit me ... if I did ... I would have to see a movie ... WITHOUT CHERRY COKE!  What have I done?!
Six weeks ... six weeks ... six ... weeks ...
In the afterlife
You could be headed for the serious strife
Now you make the scene all day
But tomorrow there'll be hell to pay
Squirrel Nut Zippers - Hell