Have you ever watched Survivor? Occasionally there will be a tribal council that focuses on one contestant. Everyone wants to know who that person is going to vote for ... what group are they siding with? Everyone is focused on the question ... what will that one contestant do?
I feel like I'm on Survivor. At least twice a week I'm asked ... what are you planning to do this fall? Are you moving to St. Louis? Are you transferring to another state? Staying with the Feds? Are taking the severance and moving to private industry?
It isn't just people in my office. Last week I got an e-mail from an IT specialist in Colorado ... wanting to know where I was going ... and had I considered Colorado? People from other parts of the building are coming up and asking. I always give the same response ... I don't know. But everyone seems to think if they ask, they'll get a different answer.
Today the stakes got higher. A co-worker from St. Louis drove up for a going away luncheon ... and pulled me into a meeting room when we got back. She'd been given a mission ... to convince me to go to St. Louis.
Her: St. Louis is a great place to live!
Me: That's cool. It's pretty great here too ... in Springfield.
Her: I only have a ten minute commute!
Me: That's awesome. So do I ... in Springfield.
Her: I found a nice little one bedroom apartment!
Me: Super. I have a three bedroom house ... in Springfield.
When none of her cheer-leading tactics worked, she pulled out the big guns. They will find the funding and create a position just for me. A special one written specifically for my skills ... in Public Relations. Public relations? The fuck? I've been a Office Automation Clerk. I've been Secretary to the Director. I've been a LAN Administrator. How does this translate to Public Relations? Apparently knowing Photoshop and basic graphic design concepts means I would fit perfectly in Pubic Relations. Sigh ...
I am so tired. I'm genuinely tired of this whole mess. I own a home. I have an elderly mother. I have friends and family here. I have people I care about here. I told her I'd think about it ... with the sequestration there is no funding right now. We're dropping programs right now because of lack of funding ... they're certainly not going to create a new position anytime soon.
I've put out applications with two different federal agencies so far. I guess I should be working a little harder. I'm just so sick of it ...
I should do it differently.
Did ya hear me ask for your advice?
Kelly Osbourne - Shut Up