So for the last year, I've wanted an iPhone. It started out as a casual "Wouldn't it be nice to have ..." and has slowly built to the "Goddamn it I need to have one ..." stage.
In the last 48 hours or so, my craving for a new phone has reached a near junkie state ... where I am constantly thinking of iPhones. Where will I get one? What provider will I choose? Which model will I choose? What color should I get? (Duh, black of course.) What cover should I get? What songs will I load on it? To be completely honest, it's gotten out of hand.
How did I know I had a problem? I was watching this week's episode of Girls ... and Hannah gets a call from Adam ... on her iPhone. All I could think was ... "What? That whiny bitch has an iPhone and I don't?!" Hannah is not a real person. She is a character. The writers gave her an iPhone. I realize that ... but at that moment in time ... oh, how I envied that bitch.
So after work yesterday, I drove to Sprint to get my fix. Right off the bat, the clerk ... who was sporting a fair amount of cringe-worthy ink on both hands ... asked why I wanted to switch from Android to Apple. I explained that my phone's battery life is so low that I can only assume it's being powered by a tiny asthmatic hamster on a broken exercise wheel. Mr. Droid Fanboy said he should warn me that Apple products have a "learning curve" ... and I actually laughed out loud.
I nicely explained that I own two iPods and a first generation iPad, I'm in charge of service, training, and upkeep on close to a hundred 3rd generation iPads, and I work on a Macbook Pro at my office. Listen up, DroidBoy ... in my particular case there is no learning curve. Hell, they should be hiring me to sell these things ...
And so, having crushed Droidboy's dreams of selling me on the amazing features of Jelly Bean, we started the paperwork. I set about answering questions, digging out IDs and finding PIN numbers ... only to have an issue with them porting my number over from AT&T and then not being able to access my account with my PIN number. Finally, after two and a half hours, I called it a night. I was tired ... and even if they'd been able to fix the PIN number issue, they admitted we were still a good 45-60 minutes away from me leaving the store with a phone in my hand. Enough.
For what it's worth, I had a strange sense of zen last night. A friend of my Mom's told me once ... if you feel like you're swimming upstream, you're going the wrong way. I was tired of swimming ... and I obviously wasn't meant to get an iPhone last night. And in the meantime, I'll keep charging my Android up every few hours ... and saving money ... because I am going to get one. Oh yes ... yes, I am.
Even through the darkest phase
Be it thick or thin
Always someone marches brave
Here beneath my skin Constant craving
Has always been
Be it thick or thin
Always someone marches brave
Here beneath my skin Constant craving
Has always been
K.D. Lang - Constant Craving
