Tuesday, March 12, 2013

I've Almost Got the Shakes ...

There is something wrong with me.  I don't know if it's hormonal or mental or what.  I am hungry all the damned time.   And thirsty ... so thirsty!    And my skin is breaking out ... what the hell is up with that?   I haven't had to deal with this shit since I was like sixteen ...

Ever since my one night stand with the greatest soda on Earth ... Mr. Pibb ... I have had back and kidney pain ... but that's getting better.   In fact, right now, I feel pretty normal.   Hopefully I can go back to work tomorrow and put that little adventure behind me ... but that doesn't change the fact that it's 9:57 at night ... and I'm sitting here eating a salad of nothing but lettuce, chicken breast, mozzarella cheese, and garlic croutons ... because it was this or cook a pepperoni pizza.

Seriously ... there was no middle ground.  There wasn't ... here, have a few crackers and it'll be alright.  It wasn't ... why don't you have some hot chocolate, that will help.  No ... it was ... I want that pizza ... I want it now ... but if I can't have it, by God, I will have some salad.

I need help ... Jenny Craig needs to get her punk ass over here and do an intervention before I go downstairs and preheat the oven.   All that gooey melty cheese ... and the way the pepperoni gets all crispy on the edges ... and the grease pools up in the middle ...
Ugh ... this is fucking ridiculous ...
When the moon hits your eye
Like a big-a pizza pie
That's amore
When the world seems to shine
Like you've had too much wine
That's amore
Dean Martin - That's Amore