Friday, May 03, 2013

Friday 5: Nervous ...

Thank God it's Friday!  I've worked harder this week than I have in months ... and, sadly, the next two weeks will be a steady ramp-up to the busiest day of my year ... which will be May 15th.  I'm not looking forward to that fourteen hour day ... even though it will be the last awards banquet I'll ever have to run.  I suppose it will be sad ... but since I'll be semi-conscious from exhaustion by that evening, it will be hard to know for sure.   In any case, let's wrap up the work week with another Friday 5.  Have a great weekend, everyone ... go see Iron Man 3!

The Friday 5

1.  What are you like when you are very nervous? - Hmmm ... well, when I'm nervous, I'm quiet.  I don't talk a lot.  I guess I just turn inward. When I'm comfortable, it's next to impossible to shut me up ... but when I'm nervous, I pretty much just sit there and think.  In retrospect, I know a lot of people who wish I were nervous more often ...   

2.  How do you deal with nervousness, especially nervousness about something that’s going to happen several days later? - I have something very odd about me.  Okay, yes ... ha ha ... there are a lot of odd things about me ... but in this case we're talking about nerves.  I will be nervous ... to the point I'm sick to my stomach ... but just like that ... a switch flips and I'm not.  It's like I reach a point of zen ... and whatever is bothering me?  It just doesn't matter.  It doesn't always happen ... take family night for instance.  But most times, my anxiety reaches a critical mass and the circuit breaker just flips.  It's odd ... but convenient.  

3.  In what circumstance are most people nervous, but not you? - Talking in public, I suppose?  That seems to be the one thing people complain about the most.  For whatever reason, that situation doesn't bother me.  If I had to guess, I'd say it's because, subconsciously, I have a terrible attitude.  I go into every situation happy and friendly ... with the underlying attitude, "You'll like me ... and if you don't like me, I don't really give a fuck."  Seriously, people ... adopt that ... and the world is your oyster.  You'll never get stage fright ... you'll never sweat ... because you simply don't give a fuck.  Now ... when you start giving a fuck?  That's when the nerves kick in  ...

4.  What conditions seem to be fine for most people but make you feel nervous? - I don't know ... odd things?  Things like ... eating in front of people.  That makes me nervous.  I'm a heavy girl ... so I think people are watching what I eat?  Judging?  I'm weird ... I know.  I can talk in front of a hundred people as easy as I can talk at a table for four ... but ask me to eat with them?  And suddenly I'm not hungry ... nothing on the menu looks good ... it's hard to swallow.  I'm a mess when it comes to food ... I'm a psycho analyst's dream come true.

5.  When did you last feel nervous about something that turned out completely fine? - This is an easy one ... family dinner.   I was so nervous about it, I was sick to my stomach for days.   I was certain they were going to say something inappropriate ... which they did.   I was certain I was going to do something stupid like trip or fall ... which I did.  And I was certain he was going to take one look at the chaos that is my family gatherings and say, "Thanks but no thanks!" ... which he didn't.  So, yes ... I worried myself sick for no reason.   Did I learn an important lesson from this?  No ... probably not.

You push me
I don't have the strength to
Resist or control you
Take me down, take me down
You hurt me
But do I deserve this?
You make me so nervous
Calm me down, calm me down
Maroon 5 - Never Gonna Leave This Bed

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