How does a family produce two children who are so polar opposite that the only thing between them in a Venn diagram is their shared parent?
My brother and I are so different. I think we genuinely want to like each other ... it's just that after a short amount of time, we run out of common ground ... and inevitably end up butting heads. Tonight when we first sat down to dinner, we had a nice conversation. He wanted to hear all about my "new man" ... and he was very engaged ... asking all sorts of questions. How'd we meet ... where he works ... just small talk. We moved onto Duck Dynasty and it looked like the evening might go pretty well.
But by the time we'd finished our hamburger, he'd royally pissed me off. He had started asking about my job situation ... and that was fine ... until he started badgering me about taking the transfer to St. Louis. After we bickered back and forth ... and let's be honest ... most of it was him bickering and me just sitting there quietly ... Mom stepped in and snapped, "Leave her alone! She doesn't want to move!" It shut him up ... but the train of dysfunction just kept on a' rolling ...
We made it back to the house ... where he proceeded to grill me for 20 minutes about computer issues. Should he use this program or that program? This spreadsheet or that spreadsheet? And how could he sync his calendars? Ugh ... I do this for a living. I do not want to work customer service all damned night too. I tried answering a question or two ... then avoiding his questions ... then ignoring him all together ... but he just kept on going.
It came to a head when he was looking up directions on his iPad and asked where a particular town was .... and I answered, "Beats the hell out of me. I've never been there." He looked up from his tablet and said, "You know, nobody likes a smart butt." I looked up and said, "That's weird ... up here, nobody likes adults who talk like kindergartners ... it's smart ass ... and on that note, I'm going home."
Mom followed me outside ... trying to make it all better like she normally does. There's an entire blog post to come all about how we used to be close .. and we just aren't anymore. Maybe that's just life. You'll always love your family. But maybe there just comes a point where you realize ... you just don't have a lot in common anymore. And as Stuart Smalley would say ... that's ... okay.
Down the road they'll come to find out anyway
But it's too late you know
You just like pretendin' that they're everything they're not
I don't like it, I don't need it
I don't want it cause baby I'm thru believin'
Brother Cane - Got No Shame