Sit back ... grab a beer ... and relax. Cause I'm about to piss off anyone across the globe with ovaries. This should be fun ...
I don't know how to label myself. I suppose I'm a feminist. I'm for women's rights. I'm for equal pay for equal work. I'm all about celebrating women who shatter that glass ceiling. But ... I also embrace the feminine. I don't consider it a weakness when a man holds a door open for me. I don't have any shame asking a man to open a jar for me. I guess I believe moderation in all things ... this included.
Now ... how does this play into today's post? Sisters ... we have a bad, bad habit that we have got to break. Seriously ... today. I do it too ... I'm guilty ... but we need to put an end to this whole "everything is fine" bullshit.
The running joke is that when a man asks a woman, "Is everything okay?" and she answers, "It's fine ..." that he needs to run for shelter because shit is anything but fine. This is part of a long line of jokes ... when she says this ... she really means that. And I am here to tell you ... I have had enough.
Yesterday, I wanted to re-schedule something with my Mom and I specifically asked her, "Is it alright if I do this tomorrow night instead of tonight?" Her answer? "That's fine." It wasn't fine. It wasn't remotely fine. It wasn't in the same fucking county as fine. I had a great evening out with friends and then spent the rest of the night at home crying because she'd decided she'd been blown off and was going to be hateful about it. Well enough.
If I ask you ... "Would this be alright?" and it isn't alright ... just fucking say so! Say what you mean. Period.
You do it. You know you do. I'm guilty of it too. I can't deny it. Stoney and I have only had one misunderstanding. And when he asked me if everything was alright the next day ... what did I say to him? It's fine. Well, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I said it ... because, once again having someone say it to me, I know it's frustrating as ten kinds of fuck.
It's hard. As females, we're ingrained with this whole "say this instead of that" meme. But it's wrong. It's just wrong. So common ... let's make the change. Considering how much I hate confrontation, I know I'll slip and say it at some point in the future ... but I'm going to try.
Because fine ... should mean fine.
Whatever makes me happy sets you free
And I'm thankin' you for knowin' exactly
What a girl wants, what a girl needs
Whatever keeps me in your arms
And I'm thankin' you for bein' there for me
Christina Aguilera - What a Girl Wants