Thursday, June 20, 2013

ThirtyWhat Sees Man of Steel ...

I am not a huge Superman fan.  He's okay.  I'm more of a Marvel universe girl, myself ... but I can dig DC on occasion.  My main concession to the DC universe is a love of Green Lantern and Flash t-shirts ... but I think that can be attributed more to Sheldon Cooper rather than Denny O'Neil.

So ... onto the show.  And to quote River Song ... spoilers, sweetie ...

So last night was an impromptu date night.  Stoney and I went to dinner and a movie ... the movie being Man of Steel.   Now ... as a disclaimer, you can take my opinions with a big ol' grain of salt because, unlike most super hero fans, I liked Baby Superman.  So it's perfectly acceptable to read this post and think, "ThirtyWhat, you are so full of shit!" because most of the time, I am full of shit.  This time the shit just happens to wear a cape and let his father die.

Sorry ... I digress ...

The problem with most super hero franchies, at this point, is that they have to start with the origin story.  How did this character become a super hero?  Spidey gets bitten ... Hulk gets blasted with gamma rays ... Batman has dead parent issues ... it's so common knowledge it's ridiculous.  Kids know more about super hero origins than they know about the War of 1812.  And yet ... here we go again ...

The downfall of Kyrpton was genuinely interesting to watch ... and I've liked Michael Shannon since Take Shelter so I really enjoyed watching him become General Zod.  But gosh ... so much ... wrong.  I don't even know where to start other than to just start blathering about random things that bugged me:

Pa Kent ... was a dick.  You seriously told a kid he made a mistake saving the lives of a busload of children?  Maybe?  Screw you, Jonathan.  I get the whole dichotomy between Pa Kent's "hide your power" stance and Jor-el's "save the world" stance ... but really?  And on top of it all, you let your wife and your adoptive son watch you die?  To prove a point?  Fuck you ... fuck you very much.

Kal fights a major battle on Main Street, Smallville ... when like two blocks over there are nothing but corn fields.  Seriously ... you couldn't have led them over that way?  (Note:  Alright alright alright ... unclench your panties.  Yes, I realize Thor did the same thing when Loki sent the Destroyer to New Mexico.  Hey, I never said Thor was perfect ... I said his hair was perfect.  Screw you ... don't you judge me.)

They did break the unbreakable "Superman doesn't kill" rule ... which I'm not as upset about
since I'm not a big fan.  I do get the reason this is such a big thing.  Whereas Batman is the dark, brooding superhero ... Superman is supposed to be a big ol' blue-eyed boy scout.  He's the protector.  He's the good guy.  He doesn't kill.  Or at least he didn't.  Now you better bring him the soy latte that he asked for or your ass is grass, my friend.

The collateral damage was just so so intense.  I was watching the end battle and thinking about 9/11 ... wondering if it would be difficult for people in New York to watch that scene.  Now I realize this isn't New York ... it's Metropolis ... but common.  It was still so bleak and the devastation was so graphic.  If they were going for disaster porn, they achieved it.

Truth be told ... I love going to the movies.  Many times I've said that even a bad movie is still a movie.  In the last eighteen months, I've gone to quite a few shitty movies just to get out of the house.  So I don't remotely regret seeing Man of Steel.  The company was, as always, wonderful.  We had awesome seats. Plus listening to Stoney's reaction to various scenes was priceless.  Hell, even a bad movie ... is still a movie.  

Unrelated Side Note:  I can't have babies ... just one of those things. No sense in mourning over that anymore. But every great once in awhile ... and I mean once every blue moon ... I feel that ping. That tiny ache. That baby in Man of Steel?  Aw, that little dude totally hit me.  He was in the little hatchling baby rocket ... and was all small and pink and tiny fists all swinging while he cried. It got to me just a tiny bit. Of course, as usual .. that ping lasted just about as long as a ping on a sonar. Soon as I got home, got a glass of Cherry Coke, got naked, and took a hot shower I was all ... fuck babies. Of course, I also joked that somebody should take their children to see World War Z. In retrospect ... Jesus may have had a valid point ...

Sometimes I thank God
For unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin'
To the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer
Doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts
Are unanswered prayers

Garth Brooks - Unanswered Prayers

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