Thursday, July 04, 2013

Happy 4th of July ...

Happy 4th of July, everybody!

What a difference a year makes.  One year.  I'm not sure why this feels more like a New Year's Eve post than a 4th of July post ... but I guess that's just where my head's at ... so ... I'd skip this post.  Just ... go watch some fireworks or something and come back tomorrow.

Last night, I was thinking about something.  I was up until midnight or so ... I couldn't sleep ... and I let my mind wander.

Back in 2012, my best friend said were going to dinner before trivia ... and then mentioned a friend of theirs would be joining us.  He was funny ... and quiet ... and handsome.  Awhile later, she asked if I wanted to go to Peoria with her and her husband to see Avengers ... oh, and by the way, this same friend would be going.  The friend was, of course, Stoney.  The four of us drove up in their van ... and it was a great trip.  If he was shy, you couldn't tell.  We all laughed ... talking about movies and songs and all sorts of random stuff.

Okay, so I'm being honest, right?  I liked him.  But I swear I don't think I was flirting.  Maybe I was?  Because my best friend called the next day to let me know she was currently in the process of setting him up with someone ... and although she didn't say the words "hands off" it was patently clear that being interested in him wasn't an option.

She would call me every so often and give me updates on her matchmaking project.  One time she complained that the girl she chose was flirting with Stoney ... but he wasn't picking up the signals.  Another time she ranted about how they met for a walk and she smoked in front of him.  Seriously, I got to hear a blow by blow of how his love life was progressing.   And yet ... she kept inviting him to do things with us.

So last night, I was laying in bed ... playing some silly game on the iPad ... thinking about how much everything has changed in a year ... and I thought, "Did you do that on purpose?"

Did you tell me hands off thinking I would want him that much more?   It makes me smile to think she was playing some sort of long con on me ... because seriously ... I could see her doing that.  I thought of it many different ways.  On one hand, Stoney and I went to a concert and a wedding together in the fall ... and she really didn't have a lot to say about it.  But when we finally went out in December, she let me know she totally approved of him ... and reminded me this was the first person I dated that she'd ever approved of. 

Did she hope for this?  Did she plan for this?  I wish I could ask her. 

A year has passed ... another 4th of July.  Stoney's cooking out and I'll be heading over in awhile.  If she was using reverse psychology on me, it worked.  Good job, sweetie ...

You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July
'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go, oh, oh, oh
As you shoot across the sky

Katy Perry - Firework


  1. My senior year of high school, there was this junior girl who was interested in me. She didn't know me very well, but she was really good friends with my ex-girlfriend, who had recently dumped me. She asked my ex-girlfriend first if it was okay, and second how she might get my attention.

    The girl was a really good writer, and my ex knew that was the way to get me interested. So she suggested that this girl, who sat two seats away from me in physics class, ask the girl who sat between us if she could proofread one of her papers.

    The advice wasn't to as ME to proofread the work, but to ask the girl between us to proofread the work. My ex knew that I'd be nosy, that I'd ask to see the paper, and then get interested in the girl who wrote it. Something about the importance (to younger me) of making the first move, or in this case having the illusion of making the first move.

    We ended up hanging out for the whole last part of my senior year and had a few dates that summer. It kind of fell apart when I took her to a GREAT Bruce Hornsby and the Range concert and she TOTALLY couldn't get into it.

    Now, in my mid-forties, I honestly wouldn't care about that. Too bad she's married now, as they all are...

    All of which I retell only because people know us better than we think they do sometimes.

  2. You are SO spot on, scrivener!

    We talked about it yesterday ... and the thing is ... had my friend come straight at me and said, "I know this wonderful guy ..." I would've been like, "No. Hell no. I don't want to meet him. I don't care. No." At the time, I told her (and several others) that there hadn't been anyone born with a penis that could fix what happened to me and I was DONE with men.

    So ... I think you're right. She knew me better than I knew myself .. and knew she needed to come at it from a different angle. By telling me she was setting him up with someone else, he was safe. He was just a friend we hung out with.

    I think she ran the long-con on me. Don't eat that cookie ... okay, I don't even want a cookie ... good cause you can't have that cookie ... okay, but that cookie looks pretty good ... it doesn't matter cause you CAN'T have that cookie ... you know, that cookie looks pretty tasty ... do not TOUCH that cookie ... I MUST HAVE THAT COOKIE!!!

    You're right ... she knew me better than I knew myself. :)