Tuesday, August 13, 2013

One More ... Just One More ...

More of the same ... I'm sorry.   But if I don't get it out here, I sleep even less than I already do.  Sorry, folks ... tomorrow I promise ... puppies and kittens!  Nothing but pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, green clovers, and blue diamonds.

So, once again I'm here to bitch about a friend of ours and his complete lack of tact or diplomacy.  I am conflicted ... and my opinions change almost moment to moment.

One moment I will tell you ... I know that my grief and my inner conflict are my problem.  It's my problem and I need to deal with missing her quietly and on my own without making anyone feel like they aren't grieving enough.

The next moment I will tell you ... I could get over this easier if her husband would just shut the hell up.  Every day I get a detailed update on the current state of his love life.  It's as if I'm his sister and not his dead wife's best friend.

Two weeks after my friend died, her husband was flirting with a girl she used to work with.  This, to be honest, was a bitter pill to swallow.  At first all I could think was ... surely he was reading her attention towards him wrong?  This girl worked with my friend.  This girl wouldn't actually see him, would she?  Yes ... she would ... and three weeks after the funeral, he had a date. 

At the six week mark, when that particular spark didn't catch fire, he set up a profile on a dating site.  This last weekend, he told me he'd fallen "deeply in like" with a woman he "met" through the dating site.  Yesterday he texted me to let me know that he'd taken off his wedding rings ... not shocking since Stoney knew first and had prepared me for the news.

I vacillate between feeling guilty for missing her so much ... and being angry that I'm forced to repeatedly tell someone, "I just want you to be happy."  I do want him to be happy ... but at this moment, I just want him to let me miss her in peace.

Meanwhile, oblivious to my or Stoney's discomfort, there are two other couples that he says he's "worried" about.  He's worried his friends or their wives will make this new woman uncomfortable ... the new woman that he hasn't even met yet.  Well. no shit!  You think?  You think maybe all of us who knew your wife ... who knew her good traits and knew her flaws and loved her anyway ... you think we might make your new woman feel uncomfortable?  Here's a thought ... how could we not?

All the mean, horrible things I think ... things I will never say ... things like, "Nice to meet you!  Wow, you can walk!  That will be convenient!"   All those things that this woman doesn't deserve to hear ... because none of this is her fault.  She might be the nicest person in the world ... then again she might be Veruca Salt, Regina George, and Ann Coulter all rolled into one.  I guess I'll find out when I meet her ... which will probably be next week when I stand up for her at their wedding.

I make jokes ... but this is just another one of those things that I'll push down ... because there is no fix.  It's just a matter of saying it's okay ... and meaning it.

Get over it
Get over it
All this bitchin' and moanin' and pitchin' a fit
Get over it
Get over it

The Eagles - Get Over It

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