Monday, September 16, 2013

Here Is Good ...

With only four days left this week, the clock is really ticking.  It's hard to believe I first learned about their plan to close the office in 2011.   Back then, 2013 sounded like a million years away.  As naive as it sounds, it was hard to believe it would really happen.  I always thought the plans would change.  I always knew they would reorganize and there would be some downsizing ... I just never imagined the day would come when we would start with 30+ employees ... and wind up with only two.

Back in 2011, after everything went bad around here, I made the decision to move.  I was going to sell the house, move to Missouri, and make a new start.   I remember it was winter and the house was cold ... and I sat in the living room, wrapped in a quilt.  I stared at the picture wall and thought, "I want to live anywhere but here."

It was during one of our Friday night marathon phone calls that I told my best friend my decision.  She said she understood ... and we both cried a little.  She told me to think about it ... not to do anything hasty.  She said I shouldn't make any final decisions on moving until my divorce was final.  Then she said the saddest thing ... "Don't move.  I just got you back."

For the longest time people would ask me, "What are you going to do?" and I always told every one of them, "I don't know."

Time marched on ... winter became the spring ... spring became the summer.  My best friend knew that my biggest issue was being alone.  It was hard coming home to a quiet house and not having anyone to talk to ... so she invited me to go somewhere all the time.    We were always going out to eat or going to a movie or hanging out at their house.  Meanwhile the girls invited me out to pedicure parties and Thursday fried chicken nights ... everyone was understanding.

By the time the leaves started to fall, being here wasn't so bad.  In September, a tall, handsome man surprised the hell out of me by inviting me to go to see Springsteen with him ... in October, I actually enjoyed decorating the house for Halloween ... in November, I packed three truckloads full of garbage and got everything hauled away ... and by December ... well by December I really didn't to move away anymore.

So four more days.  My desk is cleaned out ... and tomorrow the IT crew is coming from St. Louis to do a walk-thru.  The future is scary ... but I'm a hard worker ... and I'll find something else.  But here?  Here is happy.  Here is good ...

Closing time
Open all the doors and
Let you out into the world
Closing time
Turn all of the lights on over
Every boy and every girl
Closing time
One last call for alcohol so
Finish your whiskey or beer
Closing time
You don't have to go home
But you can't stay here

Semisonic - Closing Time

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