I'm watching Chasing Amy ... again ... and really ... there isn't too much wrong with this world that can't be solved by watching this scene in Holden's car ...
Today is one of those days. I woke up feeling out of sorts and nothing's really helped. I had a tiny pot of silk flowers that I'd picked up at the dollar store ... so I pulled my jeans on and drove down to the cemetery to visit my friend. I thought I would get to see her new headstone ... maybe take a picture of it and post it on Facebook for her family to see.
I was puzzled and irritated the moment I started walking towards the marble bench. There were weeds growing on her plot. I'm not just talking dandelions. I'm talking about enormous sprouting weeds that were at least knee high. They looked like soybean plants. The grass had been mowed ... but for whatever reason, they hasn't mowed over that spot. There wasn't a single sprout of grass ... there wasn't a headstone ... there wasn't even a concrete base poured.
So I knelt down ... and slowly started pulling weeds. I talked to her ... told her I missed her .... told her my good news about my new "space" at Stoney's house ... and told her that, as of right now, it only contains one lone ankle sock and a packet of black hairbands. I dug a small hole and buried the pot so that only the flowers are showing. It's small ... but the flowers are fall colors. I think she would like it ... I know she would like it.
I came home and texted J to ask him when was the headstone was supposed to be delivered. His response? "I'll call tomorrow and find out. I was there yesterday and saw the stone wasn't delivered. It made me mad." I casually mentioned the weeds and how I'd pulled them all out. His response? "Yeah, I saw those. That made me mad too."
So ... this can go one of two ways. Option number one is that he's lying. I'm leaning towards this option because I don't believe he's been there. There were weeds ... the plot was unkempt ... and there was old, dried bird poop on the marble bench so I don't think anyone had sat there in awhile. Option number two is that he was there ... but didn't bother to touch a thing. He let it grow up until it looked like an abandoned farm field. In the end, it doesn't matter which option is the right one ... because neither one is good.
I've just had one of those days. I spilled a large cup of soda on my carpet and spent a half hour cleaning it up ... dinner was almost inedible ... my head hurts ... and I would rather take an ass beating than go to work tomorrow. But I've got Chasing Amy ... I've got Breaking Bad ... and I've got Stoney, who has been so sweet ... texting me this afternoon despite it being football Sunday. Sometimes we have to be content with the little things ...
It can't be that bad
If it makes you happy
Then why the hell are you so sad
Sheryl Crow - If It Makes You Happy