I know I've bitched about my job a lot ... and in this economy, I'm fully aware that I'm lucky to even have a job. But seriously ... you can't imagine how soul-crushingly depressing it is right now. At my old job, if Stoney had a Christmas party that began at three, I would've taken off at noon, come home and cooked up something amazing ... and joined him for a wonderful night. At my old job, we would've been told to take off at one or two o'clock on Christmas Eve ... same thing on New Year's Eve. But welcome to the new world ...
I've been told the way it's worked in the past ... on Christmas Eve they'll ask the team, "Who would like to leave early?" You'll put your name in a hat ... and names will be chosen. That will be the order in which you can leave ... using your own time. So, if you're first ... and we're slow, of course, maybe you'll get to leave at noon. If you're last, maybe you'll only get off an hour early? If we're busy, all bets are off.
So, given that I was sick two days last week and only had 12 hours of time saved up? There's no sense even putting my name in. I don't have the leave to use. Furthermore, am I going to piss off my co-workers and risk being randomly picked to leave before someone who has worked there for years?? No ... that's just asking for trouble.
This year is a wash. There's nothing jolly and nothing happy about it ... I'm going to be working until 5:30 on Christmas Eve ... and the day after Christmas. The best I can do is make the most of my one day off ... and hope next year I'll have a little more wiggle room.
2. How often do you get a haircut? - I have a terrible habit when it comes to haircuts ... I put them off until it's absolutely ridiculous. I put it off until my hair is so long and out of control that all I can do is wind it up. Once it's cut, I feel like a new ThirtyWhat and all is right the world. So why wait? Because I take laziness to a whole new level.
3. Would you ever be brave enough to cut your own hair? - When I was about three, my Dad was serving overseas ... so my Mom took a job. My Grandma watched me while Mom worked. Well, one day, I took it upon myself to cut my hair. I grabbed a big old shank of it with my hand and cut. I wanted to be sneaky so I stuffed it down the heating grate ... and for some bizarre reason, Grandma didn't notice anything. So when Mom got off about eleven o'clock, she was horrified to come home and find her toddler with half her hair gone. Since that unforgettable day, I've never been tempted to take scissors to my own hair again.
4. How many times have you had surgery? - Twice? No, three times. I had my gallbladder out ... then I had a hysterectomy ... then I had a large staghorn kidney stone removed. The hysterectomy was the worst. For awhile, I researched having weight loss surgery ... I was convinced it was the way to go. Then I had the hysterectomy and learned what it felt like to have my stomach muscles cut. I'm not saying I won't ever do it ... but it's a pain I'll take twice about revisiting.
5. Be honest: have you ever run with a pair of scissors in your hand? - Silly ... that would require running.
6. Do you own a pair of poultry shears, and if so, have you ever used them to cut meat? - Yes ... I do ... and yes ... I have. It was one of the most horrific experiences of my life. I prefer to buy my chicken wings pre-cut into wingettes. But once, when I couldn't find them in the store, I decided to buy whole wings and cut them myself. Do you know that blood comes out of bone? Little bits of bone fragments and blood were all over the counter. I must've went two years without eating anything with a bone in it. I still get queasy thinking about it.
The nurses all gathered 'round
And they gazed in wide wonder
At the joy they had found
The head nurse spoke up
Said "leave this one alone"
She could tell right away
That I was bad to the bone
George Thorogood -
Bad To The Bone
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