Friday, February 28, 2014

Walking Through Jello ...

I just don't know ... I don't know how I'm going to make it through the next two weeks.  I am so damned tired.

I slept for ten and a half hours last night.  I went to work and felt a little better ... but then it was time for my morning dose ... and I was back where I started.   By twelve o'clock, I wanted to curl into a ball.  But I stuck it out until twelve thirty ... when I went straight to my car, turned the heater on, and fell asleep for an hour.

This evening, I admitted to Mom that I was thinking of calling the doctor on Monday and telling her I quit ... no more.  I know I need medicine but I can't keep on like this.  Mom listened ... and then told me no ... to keep pushing.   She said in a couple weeks I'll feel so much better ... to just hold on.

So ... I'm going to try.  I guess I can sleep in my car each day.   I can try taking some Vitamin B12 ... try to up my energy.   I'll sleep 10 hours a night.   And hopefully at the end of two weeks, I'll be back to my old self.

For the moment, I'm dreading tomorrow.  I want to see our friends ... but I don't want to sew ... I don't want to scrapbook ... or sort photos ... or crochet.   I sure as heck don't want to cook ... or prep.   I don't want to do anything but go to bed right now.  And I haven't even taken my evening dose.

Heaven help me ...

(Heaven knows)
What kind of fool am I
(Heaven knows)
Why you take an eye for an eye
(Heaven knows)
What comes over me
You were pumping iron
As I was pumping irony

Robert Plant - Heaven Knows

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