Saturday, March 08, 2014

A Wasted Saturday ...

If you are ever find yourself in the position of having to choose between using Comcast as your cable or Internet provider ... or being anally gang raped by a hoard of apoplectic demons ... always choose the demons.   Because, I promise you ... you will get painfully fucked either way.  But at least the demons won't charge you to do it.

I've had Comcast service for ... well, let's do a little math.  I got my first apartment when I was seventeen.  I couldn't afford cable right off the bat.  I didn't sign up for service until my second apartment.  So I would've been right around eighteen.  So ... let's just say I've had cable service for right around twenty five years.

In those twenty five years, I've been able to upgrade.  I started with the very, very basic package.  I think it was around $25 a month ... which, to an eighteen year old less than a year into her first job, seemed like a pretty sizable commitment.  Over the years I've added and removed services ... I added HBO ... I removed HBO.  I added high speed Internet.  Upgraded to a DVR.  Added the "triple play" home telephone line.  Re-added HBO.  Upgraded to two DVR's.

At this point, my cable bill is slightly over $200 a month.  Comcast provides my television, my internet, and my home phone.  I also have all the movie channels ... and the HD package.  I should probably cut that back since I also have Hulu, Netflix, and Amazon Prime memberships ... and there is only so much television one human being can watch.  But, alas, HBO Go requires a cable subscription.  So, in essence, I'm hamstrung by my love of Game of Thrones, True Detective, Girls, Newsroom ... etc. etc. etc.

But bottom line, I want to make sure that I am honest in pointing out ... Comcast offers a wide variety of entertainment choices ... lots of HD channels ... their high-speed Internet is tits ... their phone service isn't too bad.   So what's my beef?

They have the worst service of any company I have ever dealt with ... and I once hired a contractor who drug a bathroom pipe down my stairs leaving shit ... literal shit ... all over my carpet.  And yet ... Comcast ... is still the worst service I've ever had.
I have been fighting with them for a month because of "leaky cable" ... yes ... it's a real thing.  I've had four or five appointments with them ... which they have rescheduled.   I had an appointment today and they assured me that this had to be taken care of ... that leaky cable was serious ... and that if I didn't get it fixed, they would have to turn off my service.

So this morning, I left Stoney's bright and early ... making sure I was here an hour before my scheduled appointment ... and I waited.  And I waited.  And I waited.  Finally, when there was only ten minutes left in my "window," I called and asked when I could expect them. 

First I was told I didn't have an appointment.  Then I was told ... wait ... I had had an appointment ... but they had already come and left and finished the job.  I told them that wasn't possible ... as no one had come to the door.  They told me that today's appointment was an outside job ... and that no one had to be here.

At this point, I nearly had a rage stroke ...

I told them no ... that first, my car was blocking the gate and no one could get into my back yard.  Also, my car was blocking the "cable junction" where the cable enters the house.   Also, I can see the road and my driveway from where I'd been sitting ... and no ... there had been no Comcast truck on my street all day.

They tried to call the technician to ask what was going on ... why he claimed to have been here.  The technician wouldn't answer his phone.  After being on hold nearly 30 minutes while the supervisor talked to various managers they admitted ... I was right.  This wasn't a job that could be fixed from the street.  It was serious.  It did have to be fixed today.  And no, their employee couldn't have been here or fixed anything.

I was given a new appointment window that was from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m.  They assured me that they would be here ... and they might have to re-wire the entire house ... so don't make any plans.  The haircut I needed?  Was scrapped.  The pedicure I desperately wanted?  Was scrapped.  I left a warm, comfy bed, a wonderful conversation, and loving arms to be here ... only to spend the entire day waiting on Comcast.

Did anyone show?  Yup.  At 4:50.  When did he leave?  Seven o'clock.  He did wind up stringing new cable from the pole to the house ... in the dark.  I got a new modem ... new connections on several cords ... and ... a splitting headache.

There are no less than twelve trees on this property ... so, for me, a dish is out of the question.  But if there is any way possible for you to avoid dealing with this company ... do it.  Get a dish.  Get U-Verse.  Get Xanadoo.  Get a Sprint hot spot.  Seriously ... avoid Comcast. 

You might not have to deal with their customer service the first month ... maybe even the first year.  But eventually you will have to work with them ... and when you do? Pick up a bottle of lube ... the large size.  You will need it.

Pour me somethin' tall an' strong,
Make it a "Hurricane" before I go insane.
It's only half-past twelve but I don't care.
It's five o'clock somewhere.

Alan Jackson - It's Five O'Clock Somewhere

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