Monday, September 01, 2014

Fluff and Sawdust ...

I've had a busy ... but very happy ... weekend.  Lots of things floating around my mind.  Here are a few:

RIP - Rest in peace new fish.  We barely knew thee.  No ... seriously ... we barely knew him.  We'd had him less than two hours when we found him laying tits up on the tank floor.   Ah, life ... it's so transient ... and death is so sudden.  Speaking of death ...

The Leftovers - Has anyone considered that at the exact moment of the event, there were people who were genuinely unwanted.  The baby that was screaming in the back seat while his stressed out mother talked on the phone?  The noisy children who spilled liquid over their mother's phone ... while her unhelpful husband just sat there and criticized her for being upset?  The woman staring at the sonogram machine trying to decide whether to have an abortion?  Those people just disappeared ... at that exact moment.  Coincidence?  The fact that the cult is named the "Guilty Remnant" ... guilty for what?  For realizing they didn't want those people in their lives ... consciously or unconsciously ... and it's their fault that they're gone?

Work - I miss my old job.  I genuinely ... with all my heart ... miss my old job.  Not just because of the money and the benefits ... but because of my friends.  I had a dream about it all last night ... a dream that I was driving the same way to work that I drove for over a decade.  Dreaming about how I loved driving to work ... how I loved my co-workers.  We were like family ... and now ... I'm miserable without them.  I go to work ... and the work itself isn't terrible.  Far from it.  But I miss having genuine friends there.  I realize I've been at my new company less than a year.  In twenty three years, I'll probably have long-term relationships there too.  But it's daunting and depressing.

Home - On a (much) lighter note ... I am jazzed.  Really, deep-down happy.   Stoney has a lot of exercise equipment in his house.  He has a (very nice) elliptical machine ... a nice bicycle with training programs ... free weights (which I will never be healthy or strong enough to use) ... exercise stretch bands ... wrist weights ... and a dozen more things that I have no idea how to use or what to call them.   He has books that have really interesting, motivating things in them.  We were downstairs working on some project and he showed me how to use the elliptical and bicycle.  And I feel ... hopeful.  I eat so much healthier when I'm around him.  I'm really sensitive about how heavy I am.   I mean ... I have a big belly because of my over-sized kidneys.  That's something I can't change.  But let's not kid ourselves ... there are no kidneys in my ass.  That's soda and chips right there.  But he doesn't make me feel embarrassed or bad about myself ... so ... I think I could work out with him?  In front of him?  We'll see ... I feel happy about it all so ... that's a good start.

Moving - I've been packing.  I have four boxes of games and movies and such.  I stopped because I needed some strapping tape to fortify the boxes.  Stoney lent me a nice "tape gun" kind of thing and gave me a roll of bubble wrap.  And this weekend he gave me about twenty cardboard boxes he'd been storing.   So this week I'm going to wrap and pack my grandmother's china and clean out the china hutch.  I need to measure a few things ... my piano and the china hutch for starters.  It'll help us decide where to put things.  This is scary for me.  It has to be scary for him ... having someone moving stuff into his space.  But ... I called the door guy to get the date on having the doors installed and the painting finished.  So ... I'm making progress ... even if it's baby steps.  And I'll make a lot more here shortly.

This weekend was the official end of summer ... and this week football starts.  So ... have a pumpkin latte and a smile ... cause it's my favorite time of the year!  Happy autumn, everybody!

Do you remember the
21st night of September?
Love was changing the minds of pretenders
While chasing the clouds away

Earth, Wind, & Fire - September

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