Tuesday, September 02, 2014

Why You Gotta Be So Mean?

Okay ... so I am going to feel sorry for myself for just a moment.  Please bare with me while I hang the crepe paper and balloons and throw myself a small pity party.

I work with a guy who is ... ahem ... different?  He is around my age ... married ... very loud and outspoken ... and very ... um ... how to put this ... in a politically correct ... um ... effeminate?   If you met him on the street, you would swear he was gay.  I'm not judging ... I don't care.  It's just bizarre to have someone who looks and talks exactly like Harvey Fierstein say, "I told my wife, Linda, last night ... I said ... Linda!  Don't put my pants in the dryer!  Cotton SHRINKS!"

I've spoken with him once or twice ... never more than a word or two.  He's very eclectic ... he's fun in an "odd" sort of way.   But we aren't remotely friends.  He knows my name ... but that's about as much as he knows about me.  So I don't know why ...

We were both walking to the copier/printer at the same moment ... both coming from opposite directions.  He had a thick sheaf of paper to copy ... I had a print job on hold waiting there.  I said, "You go right ahead.  I'm not in a hurry."  "Are you sure?  The copier around the hall keeps jamming.  I'm just so frustrated."  I smiled and said, "Aw, I'm sorry.  That's the worst."

He started copying ... looking down at the machine ... and I said, "I'm not in any hurry.  This has to go to the State and you know they don't make another run for two hours ..." and as I speak the word "hours" he says (over the top of me talking) ...

"I'm not remotely interested."

I looked taken aback.  "What?" 

"I'm not interested."

My internal filter failed me ... and I said, "Well ... screw you, buddy ..." and at that point he burst out in a loud, gregarious laugh.  "I was kidding, obviously ..."

At that exact moment, the copier jammed and one of his papers became wadded inside the feeder.  He loudly swore, "DAMMIT."  A girl who sits right next the copier said, "Well, that's what you get.  Isn't karma a bitch?" and was mirthfully laughing at him.

I smiled at the both of them and went back to my desk ... really on the verge of tears.  I just got done saying last night how much I missed my old job and my friends ... and today this flaming asshole does this whole "kidding/not kidding" thing that pisses me off.  Why be so hateful?  And rude??

He was angry ... both at the copier for damaging his document and my teammate for laughing at his misfortune.  You'd think I would've jumped up and pulled my job off the printer ... but I didn't.  I just sat there and listened to my book on tape.

Sigh ... I keep telling myself ... every office has assholes.  My last office did ... why should this company be any different?    I keep telling myself tomorrow will be better.  But I'm starting to dread going in.  I'm just getting weary ...

Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Why you gotta be so mean?

Taylor Swift - Mean

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