Once More With Feeling ...

So I'm sitting here waiting to hear from the surgeon's nurse.   I needed to ask a few questions that I failed to ask yesterday at the gut punch they called an appointment.

Good news ... the fistula in my elbow is developing nicely.  It's already bigger than it was when they spliced it together.  It sounds healthy ... it looks good.  

Bad news ... the cut on my wrist from the first fistula attempt isn't healing as well as it should.  They had to leave one of the stitches in to keep everything together.  It's red and uncomfortable ... although they don't think it's infected.  Also that whole pinched nerve causing the painful thumb?  Oh yeah, that's normal and "should" work itself out.  Although it might "take awhile." 

Worse news ... that fistula surgery?  Was only the first procedure.  The surgeon has to go BACK in and MOVE it from my inside elbow to the center of my upper arm.  It apparently requires about a four to six inch cut. 

It just ... keeps ... getting ... better.

We had a plan.  The plan was to go in for my two week checkup ... start exercising that arm to grow the fistula ... and start dialysis in about four weeks.  Now?  I go in on the 19th and if it's grown sufficiently, they'll plan a date for the second procedure. 

Then what?   Two weeks later for a checkup?  How long until dialysis?  How long until it's ready to be used?  How long before I can use that arm?

I don't know any of those things because when he told me about the second procedure my brain just shut down.  I wasn't going to cry in the office ... but at that point I kind of went into "off" mode and I stopped thinking.

So I'm waiting for the call.  It's not like the news is going to be lighthearted or fun ... but sometimes you just have to know.  Tonight after work, they're going to take blood to check my function ... I guess to see how close we're cutting it.  Keep your fingers crossed, everyone ...

I took my love, took it down
I climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills
'Til the landslide brought me down

Fleetwood Mac - Landslide