An Embarrassment of Riches ...

It's that time of year.  The time of year when we all make New Year's resolutions ... and then inevitably throw our hands up in submission by March of the following year.

For years, I refused to participate in them.  I railed against them here and here and here and, would you believe, for the very first time back in 2005, here.

So, I guess we could sit and dissect what it meant about my mental or emotional state for all those years that I wasn't even willing to entertain the idea of resolutions.  But that ship has long sailed and I would rather think about the way things are now.   I'd rather think about what it says that I'm thinking positively about the future ... about what positive changes I could make in the next year.

Next year, my big resolution is regarding my health.  I want to have my native kidneys removed.  Since my transplanted kidney is flourishing and my native kidneys are enormous and painful, I want nothing more than to have them gone.  The surgeon said he would remove them after a year and I quickly told him that he would be seeing me. 

But we realistically have to look at the big picture.

As my kidneys have gotten larger (and larger and larger), they've pressed against everything.  The issue with Polycystic Kidney Disease patients is that your body begins to depend less on your core muscles and more on the actual kidneys themselves to hold up your body.  It weakens your spine and stomach muscles.  So ... if the crux of native kidney removal is to eliminate pain ... pain itself may not be fixed by removing the native kidneys.   Yes, the pain from breaking cysts and the pushing against nerves and other organs will be gone ... but at that point you'll have pain from your spine and stomach muscles having to work for the first time in decades.

So what's the solution?

Start working on your core muscles so they're at least a little stronger before you have the surgery.  Again, this is tricky.   PKD patients are very susceptible to hernias and you have to be careful not to overly strain the stomach muscles.   But hey ... we have to start somewhere.  I think yoga would be the best place to start.  I'd need to find an easy, beginner class ... but I think it's a good first step.

I also want to build up to using our exercise bicycle regularly.   I'm sure in the beginning I couldn't do it for long ... but I think I could build up stamina in time.  Again ... we have to start somewhere, right?  Especially if the end goal is to get these monsters out of my body.

On a fun side ... I want to see one movie a month with Stoney at the theatre.   That resolution is hard because there isn't always a "must see" movie ... but hey ... we'll just have to get creative.  I'm also going to try to read one book a month.  I love to read ... but the stack of books on our headboard is getting enormous.  I've started each one of them and then got a new book and started the cycle again.  Gotta fix that!

It's almost here ... a brand new year.   A new kidney ... a new life without dialysis ... and a new year with my new husband.   I'm not sure what else I could ask for ...

We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to time
And reliving in our eloquence
Another auld lang syne

Dan Fogelberg - Same Old Lang Syne